Act On Your Impulse
by Stylegirl32
Summary: a Cartman tragedy. it could be a collection of angst if anyone asks.
1. Cartman

**This is my first Cartman angst/ tragedy. Please be nice. **

Falling

Sinking

I'm sorry

I wasn't nice. I know that. But were you?

Emotions

Rising

Were you nice when you endlessly made fun of me? Of my weight? Were you thinking of me when you made fun of my mom? And where was your so called niceness when you talked about my dad?

The pain.

It's overwhelming.

Opening

Up

New wounds.

When you told me it was my fault he left. That I made him leave. That no one loved me.

Unbearable

Unbelievable

Unloved

Where was your comforting hand when you saw I was hurt? Where were you, when I lost everything?

Alone

So alone

Where were you?

_Wish you could turn off the questions, turn off the voices, turn off all sound. Yearn to close out the ugliness, close out the filthiness, close out all light. Long to cast away yesterday, cast away memory, cast away all jeapordy. Pray you could somehow stop uncertainty, somehow stop the loathing, somehow stop the pain. Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest." — __Ellen Hopkins_

_"It [death] chokes you, gags you, but you have to pretend that you're doing just fine, not trembling with this fear because the end is close." — __Ellen Hopkins__ (__Impulse__) _

**I know, very angst. Should I write a collection of angst? Please review! PLEASE! If anyone wants a collection, I'll write one. Any ideas? REVIEW! I'm writing this kind of Ellen Hopkin-ish. The line above is from Impulse by her.**


	2. StanKyleCraigTweek

This is a story idea I thought of a while ago but I decided to write it today. I have this same story in a one shot version and in my collection of tragedies.

Kyle's P.O.V

**God! Why does Stan have to be such an ass sometimes? Sometimes he can be such a jerk. Well it doesn't matter. Today me and Stan broke up.**

**This time, for real. I'm just so sick of Stan being so bossy. So I cut it off. I told him that it was over. I almost went back. **

**His face, his face was unbearable to look at. His ocean blue eyes were filled with sorrow. I felt horrible. But not enough to go back. **

**Don't get me wrong. I love Stan. So much. But I just can't take it anymore.**

"**KYLE!" I hear a scream.**

**I turn around. It was Craig. I mentally groan. Craig hasn't been the same since Tweek killed himself last month. **

**It really hurt Craig. He and Tweek had a fight that day and Craig blamed himself. I feel kind of bad for him but that doesn't mean that I don't think that he's weird.**

"**Kyle, I heard you and Stan broke up. Don't do it." he says hoarsely.**

"**Craig what I do is my own business." I say crossly. Who is he do tell me what to do?**

"**Kyle, you, you don't understand."**

"**Craig, I'm not going back to Stan."**

"**But you two belong together. You guys need each other. Don't give that up. Please." his eyes look desperate. Why does he care?**

"**Craig, I do not need Stan. I'm better off without him. Besides, why does it matter so much to you?"**

**He looked stricken when I said that. Maybe I brought up memories of Tweek.**

"**Why do I care?" he whispered. "Why do I care! Maybe it's because I know what will happen! Maybe it's because I don't want to see you go through it! Maybe I don't want you to get the call!! Maybe I care!" he was screaming now. Must have hit a nerve.**

"**Craig! What are you talking about?"**

"**The call Kyle. The call." he says through tears. "The call that's what. The fricking call!"**

"**What call Craig!?" he's not making any sense! What does he mean?**

"**The call," he's whispering again. "The call that tells you that your life is over. That the person that you love is gone. That its your fault. That one fricking mistake ended all happiness. that's what the call is Kyle! THAT'S THE CALL!" he started yelling at the end.**

**Then I realized what he was trying to tell me. When Tweek died, Craig got the call. The call that told him that Tweek killed himself. That was the call that ruined Craig's life. The call that told him that Tweek was dead. That Tweek was never to twitch again.**

**And he told me because, because, oh my god. No. Oh god no! I must of said that out loud because Craig looks at me and silently says, Go.**

**I run. As fast as my legs can go I run. My feet are exhausted but I'm not going to stop because of that. I need to hurry. I don't have time to do anything but run. For the next five minutes all I do is run. Move my legs, one in front of the others. Left right left right. That becomes all I focus on for that time.**

**The I see it. The house that I have visited so often that I know the inside by heart. I run to the door and pray that its not to late. **

**Stan's house. He gave me the key so I just run inside. **

"**STAN!" I cry. I cant be to late.**

**I run to his room. **

**Oh my god. Stan. He, he, he's gone. There he is. My super best friend since birth. He's gone. I cant believe it. But there he is. Neck on a rope hanging from the ceiling. He's gone. I'm too late. I burst out crying. He's gone! Its all my fault! He's gone! And the last thing I told him was that I didn't need him. He thought I hated him. I didn't. I could never hate him. I was wrong. I loved him! I loved Stan Marsh! And now he's gone. **

**Then I see a little piece of paper on the ground. His last letter. It just said three words. But they were enough.**

**I love you.**

No. no! NO. NO!

I run back to my house. I get there in record time. I run into the kitchen. Craig is still there. He looks at me hopefully, but then when he saw my face, his fell.

Then the phone rang. I answered it. It was Sharon Marsh. Telling me about Stan. I had just gotten the call.

I start sobbing, with Craig right next to me. Each crying for his lost lover. Each wishing they could take away that awful day. Each wishing, they never got the call.

**Review and tell me if you like it. If you want any particular story, review for it. I can also do angst.**


	3. Kenny

**Sorry. I was writing other stories. I'd really appreciate reviews. I've only gotten 2. So REVIEW!**

Do you know what it's like being me?

To die everyday. To have to endure Hell every other day? To feel like God doesn't want you so he sends you back? Because your not good enough.

And everytime I die, I only get five seconds of recognition.

Only a " You killed Kenny!" and "You bastard!" for your death.

No one cares when I die. My parents don't notice. They're to drunk. And my friends? Don't make me laugh. They just go ahead and replace me.

Do you know what that's like? It's not fun. Not when they replace you with kids they don't even like. Am I just something that can be replaced just like that?

No matter. They won't have to worry about me anymore.

I'll be out of the way. They can just replace me with Butters. Why not? I'm only as good as a kid they barely know and the blonde psychopath.

I found a way out of coming back. To never come back. If I do it to myself, I'll stay dead.

So that's how I got here. Waiting for the pills to kick in. Waiting to go. Waiting, for the death of Kenny McCormick.

_"I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares. But they don't. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here, and escape lies just past that snowy window, cool and crisp as the February air. I considered the streets beyond, bleak as the bleached bones of wilderness scaffolding my heart. Just a stone's throw away."_

**No offense to Tweek when I said blonde psychopath. I personally adore Tweek. He's so awesome. And no offense to people who twitch or have problems. I have a twitch to. So sorry if I offended you.**


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